TO BE... OR NOT TO BE...

Precious Blog-lings!!!

Its been such a long time...and I sincerely apologize. 
I have certainly missed y'all and I hope I was missed likewise.

It has been an incredibly busy 1+ year and a lot has been going on. One of the things I have been "busy" doing is chopping off my entire head of hair and regrowing it. Now, this wouldn't be the first time i'd be doing the "Big Chop". I've always been very adventurous with my hair... dyed it all colours of the rainbow and cut/styled it on all kinds of length and texture.

However, this particular chop was for a particular reason (ok...I would be honest, I was kinda bored) but I cut it all off because my temple hair sorta looked like it was receding and I had to find a way to regrow it. Hence, the "Big Chop"!


My hair is pretty coarse and incredibly stubborn which is both a blessing and a curse. Its a blessing because it is a healthy, full head of hair... and a curse because...well...it is stubborn, simply put! Quite difficult to tame and manage. Cutting my hair was a huge relief for me and I loved the fact that I could just get up and go...literally...and I didn't have to worry about what to do it for a pretty long time.

Then... it started to grow.

I blew it out a few times to make it a lot more manageable and stylish, putting moisturizing activator to it and all but it never lasted... just before my face begins to adjust to the new hair, the overflowing melanin in my DNA rears its, of course, black head. 

I did the best that I could to manage it. Watched a couple of online videos about how to care for and style natural hair, read every article or blog I came across about virgin hair, listened to and followed every word of advice from my fellow naturalistas( with whom I always felt out of place, by the way)... I became familiar with every lingua associated with natural hair ( Co-wash, protective styling, bantu knots, castor oil, coconut oil, olive oil...mind you, not for cooking but for pampering my hair) but Alas! Nothing Worked!!! My hair refused to be conquered.

Last week, on an absolutely gorgeous Tuesday Morning, as I got ready to leave home trying to work my recently blowdried-but-already-coarse-and-shrinking thorn bush into a manageably neat bun, I suddenly had an Aha Moment! I realized that I'm not a natural hair person!!! I am definitely not into the whole "Mama Africa" thing with the sky high Turban, Kinky Twists and Bohemian Lifestyle. Matter of fact, my style personality tilts towards the Extravagant and I'm not ashamed of it. I looooove makeup... I loooooove false lashes... I looooooove artificial nails... I loooooooove adding extensions to my hair... I definitely looooooooove human hair... I loooooooooove my bras padded(for the support).... I always wanna look fleeked out, because THAT is my style personality... THAT IS WHO I AM!!!

This discovery excited the crap outta me. You see, what we spend our time doing is the result of a dynamic interaction between internal clarity( what we want to do) and external pressure( what other people want us to do). Indeed, our era is distinguished not so much by information overload but by opinion overload. To ensure that our own voice is not lost in the noise around us, we need to know what we REALLY want. If we don't get really clear about that, then other people will fill the void with their own agendas.

CLARITY IS THE BEGINNING OF ALL EMPOWERMENT!!!

Here's how my story ends... I eventually texturized my hair( a temporary relaxer that allows natural hair a lot more manageability but its effect doesn't last long as hair reverts back to natural after a short while) and I must say that I'm extremely happy with the results. My hair is longer, softer, and a lot neater when I style( I have braids on right now and I couldn't be more enthused about how tamed and neat it looks). I got a lot of criticism for it though... a lot of people called me a "Sellout"...some said I was too impatient...and no matter how much I tried to explain to them that the results were only temporary and my hair would revert to being natural, they still said it doesn't matter... I had "disappointed" them... I had sold out the natural hair community... blah...blah...blah...

Here's the problem with criticism... Most people believe it!

You can either
a) Accept it and grow as a result of it
b) Reject it and succeed anyway
c) Allow it to rule your life

When faced with criticism, you have to decide whether or not it is valid. You either work to improve yourself or simply exhibit tenacity and keep going in the face of the naysayers.

As for me, nothing is definitely going to deter me from this path I have chosen. My clarity was my empowerment. No one wants to face rejection but successful people do it anyway. You obviously cannot achieve much by taking the easy route.

So like the famous saying... TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE!!!

P.S: And for those who love to voice out their opinions, when you give feedback, offer it with a healthy helping of compassion. HONESTY WITHOUT COMPASSION IS CRUELTY!

Natural hair with my bun looking like Bug's Bunny's bushy white tail

                                        Texturized hair in braids all sleek and neat... Yayness!!!


I had to add pictures.... Lmfo....

In conclusion... Its your life... OWN IT!!!